Father's Day

He taught you how to light a fire, cook a steak and pour a beer. He could have stopped parenting right there but instead...

He gives you hugs, no matter how uncomfortable it makes him feel, because he wants you to feel safe.

He's was stressed out about money and work, but made it to your baseball game or dance recital.

He farted after you did, because he didn't want you to be embarrassed, and he's hilarious.

He put all his fears aside and taught you how to drive, so that you could experience independence, and learn about consequences.

He's taken your side in arguments with your mom, without you even knowing about it. But the couch knows.

He taught you how to apologise, because he was big enough to apologise.

He's answered almost all of your stupid questions with patience, so many stupid questions.

He tells everyone how proud he is of you all the time. But doesn't tell you because he knows you can conquer the world.

He's never been happier than on the day you were born. And you were ugly.

He never approved of that date you brought to the house, but trusted you to figure it out for yourself.

He let you beat him at wrestling, when he could have crushed you. Crushed.

He's lent you money and never taken it back.

He held you when you were a crying, pooping, vomiting, sick mess. And when you were a baby.

He's been more scared than you, but never showed it because he wanted you to be brave.

He's never felt good enough to be your dad, and he'll never stop trying.

Don't buy him f*#king socks.

Send him something that makes him say, 'Oh, thanks!', while he's really thinking 'You're the best, I love you'.